


Faith

by deansexual



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e12 Faith, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wincest if you squint, more hurt then comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansexual/pseuds/deansexual
Summary: Dean doesn't think he's going to live





	Faith

It’s quiet in the motel room, the only sound being that of Sam’s fingers tapping on the laptop’s keys, and the slow, shaky breaths of his big brother, Dean.

Neither one of them had spoken to the other since Sam had announced that they would be going to Nebraska to see a ‘specialist’ about Dean’s condition, in hopes that he’d know how to help his brother. As much as Dean wanted to, he decided against bringing up the fact that it was hopeless, that there was no fixing him, and his death was inevitable.

Dean shifted in the wooden chair, opposite of the bed Sam was on, debating on whether or not he should get up to grab something to eat from the fridge. It had slipped his mind that he hadn’t ate at the hospital that day, the only thing on his mind had been to get back to Sam, and not die in that god forsaken place.

Taking a deep breath, he mustered up his strength, lifting himself out of the chair, hands gripping the sides to steady himself, almost collapsing immediately after. The chair had pushed back, scraping against the ground, alerting Sam of what was happening.

Dean didn’t need to look up to see the worried look plastered on Sam’s face, or to see that he had jumped up from the bed, rushing to his big brother’s side. God, had he really been that helpless after all?

“Dean, are you okay?” Sam asked, hands on his biceps, eyes searching Dean’s body to see if he had hurt himself.

He hadn’t been completely helpless, he was a hunter who had faced monsters that regular people couldn’t even dream of, and he was being treated like a fragile kid. It angered him, knowing that he was being perceived as weak, and angered that he was.

“I’m fine” Dean huffed, shaking himself free of Sam’s hold, eyes not meeting his younger brother’s, too ashamed of the fact that he couldn’t even stand up while holding onto the chair.

Sam frowned, taking a step back from Dean, watching as his brother pushed himself up once more, slowly moving away from the chair, taking shaky steps towards the wall that had separated to room and kitchen, leaning against it so he could catch his breath.

Dean could feel the eyes of his baby brother follow him, burning holes into his back, waiting to see if he needed any more help, and he couldn’t blame Sam. After all, he was the one who had gotten himself electrocuted in that basement, causing a massive heart attack, sealing his fate with death.

He started walking again, only to find that he was still out of energy, and with the pain increasing, he stopped by the small table in front of the fridge. His body shook as he gasped for air, closing his eyes as the world seemed to spin around him, making him feel nauseous.  
“Dean?” Sam asked, concerned, taking a few steps towards Dean out of pure instinct, only stopping when Dean turned his head, opening his eyes, glaring daggers at him. 

He was weak, unable to defend himself if any monster came busting through those doors, and there was nothing he could do about that. The only thing he could do was make sure Sam was not worrying about him; besides, it’s suppose to be the other way around.

“I’m fine, Sam” Dean snapped, taking on last deep breath before closing the gap between him and the fridge, swinging the little door open, revealing empty shelves.

His anger only seemed to increase, as if oil was being poured onto the fire that was him. Slamming the fridge door shut, he turned around, limping back towards the room, ignoring the pain that was flaring up all over his body, and the worried glances from his concerned brother.

Dean could feel his legs were giving out, begging for him to stop, his body unable to do the things it once did, and as he stood a few feet away from the bed, he could feel himself collapse. He waited for his body to connect with the ground, for more pain to consume him, but instead he fell against a hard chest.

“Don’t push yourself” Sam whispered, one arm under Dean, the other resting on his stomach, which felt like a million of butterflies were migrating within. 

Dean ignored the feeling, simply taking it as himself feeling even more sick from falling to the floor, and staying in that position. Sam then helped Dean stand back up, eyes never leaving his brother, as if the moment he looked away his brother would be back on that floor.

The older Winchester tried to break free of Sam’s grip, trying to prove that their was still that capable hunter underneath the surface, but the tightness of Sam’s grip didn’t get loose. He stopped struggling against his brother as it was futile, he’d have to accept the fact that he needed help.

Once Sam was sure that Dean was okay, he helped him get onto the bed, not letting go until Dean was sitting down on the mattress, and even then he didn’t want to let go. 

“I can do this myself, Sam” Dean managed to say as he regained some of his strength.

Sam rolled his eyes, wondering if his brother would ever change, finally letting go, and taking a few steps back so that he could sit down in the chair across from Dean, keeping an eye on him. 

“Yeah, says the one who is collapsing every five seconds” Dean flinched at the words, his hand instinctively touching his chest, right above where his heart was.

It’s finally sinking in, that he will be dead, leaving this world, leaving Sammy, for good. He hadn’t put too much thought into it, which he should’ve, instead, he simply pushed down his fear of dying, replacing it with humor, which Sam had easily seen through.

It also dawned on him that, for all he knew, these could be his last moments with Sam, not even able to make it till tomorrow to see the specialist, and it was all his fault. 

He can only imagine what would happen to Sam if Dean were to die, no longer having his big brother by his side. The thought of leaving his baby brother only caused his heart more pain, and hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see anymore.

“I’m sorry Sam, I won’t be able to protect you anymore” Dean managed to say, the words feeling heavy on his tongue, and his throat felt like it was swelling shut.

“Yes you will” Sam immediately replied, as if that was final.

Dean shook his head, smiling at his sweet Sammy, who, despite everything, was still clinging onto the hope that he could save his big brother. He would miss that, how much Sam had loved him, but there wasn’t anything that anyone could do to save Dean.

“No, no I won’t Sammy, and I know you want to believe there is hope, but you need to prepare yourself for the alternative” Dean watched as Sam’s eyes began to fill with tears, and could see his brother was fighting the urge to break down.

He had already been through so much, with Jess dying, dad leaving, and now he was going to die. The world was so cruel to a person so pure, who never deserved a single bad thing that had happened to him.

“We’re going to see a specialist tomorrow, okay, Dean? He’s going to know what to do, and he’s going to fix you” Sam said, although, he didn’t sound so convinced; even he had had his doubts.

Dean wants to let Sammy have this hope, to believe that at the end of all of this, he’ll still have his brother, but miracles don’t exist. 

“Sam, it’s okay” Dean’s lips trembled, and he felt like he was choking on his tears,”It’s going to be okay” His words held a double meaning, causing Sam to shake his head, still denying that there was even a slight chance Dean would not make it out of this alive.

Sam shakes his head, standing up from the chair, turning away so that he wasn’t facing Dean, his hand going up to his face, most likely to wipe the tears away. After a few moments of silence, Sam turned back around, his hazel eyes puffy and red.

“You’re right, Dean, it’s going to be okay because you will get better” Sam stated.

Dean nodded his head, not wanting to fight Sam on this subject as his brother was as stubborn as a mule, and their was no way he would budge. 

So he stood up, putting up a hand as to stop Sam from helping him, and walked over to his brother, arms spread apart, enveloping Sam in a hug. His head rested in the crook of Sam’s neck, Sam’s hair sitting on top of Dean’s nose, and he couldn’t help but inhale his brother’s scent.

It took a few moments before Sam’s hands wrapped around Dean, pulling his brother closer, making sure that he didn’t apply too much pressure and hurt him in doing so.

“I love you Sam” Dean whispered, tears falling down his cheeks and onto Sam’s shirt.

The word ‘love’ catches Sam off guard as he has only heard Dean say that a few times, and never in such a serious way. Hearing the phrase roll off of Dean’s tongue, said to him and only him, it ignited something within Sam, a feeling he couldn’t describe with words.

“I love you too” Sam said, vowing to do whatever it would take to make sure Dean stayed alive.

It was Dean who pulled away first, rubbing his eyes and nose, trying to hide the evidence that he had been crying, but it didn’t matter to Sam.

“Now, can we please get something to eat, I’d die for a burger” Dean chuckled, once again hiding his fear with humor.


End file.
